Surgery #2 Ankle Fusion- Such is life
It has to happen. I can't walk anymore, I cringe at the thought of standing up, I hold on to counters and furniture as I walk through the house, and there is a constant pain that absorbs all thought.
It's time to fuse. The ankle fusion (arthrodesis, fusion of the tibia and the talus) will reduce my range of motion, no more plantar flexion (pointing toe) and limited dorsi flexion (toes toward nose) also, the fusion should reduce the pain (arthritis) and give me more stability.
Ah such is life.
And here we go.
Preparing for another surgery. Well... for the first surgery I had no preparation, all I did was provide material to put back together, I was an unconscious mass of flesh and bone going into the procedure and stayed that way for a few days until the morphine drip began to dry up. For this next surgery I will be aware and alert, I thought to prep and make myself as comfortable as possible, I prepped with comforts... blankets... room decor... reading materials...and of course I am a warrior now, I've got this, I knew what to expect! Right??
9:00am up and at 'em...prepped, washed, family in tow.
10:00am check in
scheduled for 12:30pm
Taken in for surgery prep 4:45pm
4:45pm undress and wipe down with disinfectant. (like you just poured a gallon of milk over your whole body and now sit in it).
5:00pm drugs administered, calming effect
5:05pm Doctor comes to check on you, let you know all is well and shares a terrible joke with your husband about how at least he doesn't have to buy you expensive heels anymore?????? What? Dick.
6:00pm drugs have worn off, and I can't get anymore because already was administered the full prep of drugs.
6:15pm wide eyed into surgery room, doctors playing music. Moved to table smack dab in the middle of cold and bright. Nurse opened my arms like I'm going on a cross and tied me down.
Doctors voices as I stare a bright white light..."What's this surgery? Removing hardware... No, this is a fusion..."
few hours later I assume... waking up... pain BEYOND... Man next to me screaming in pain and I was awaked by "F*#King Help! I can't move, I have to get up, NURSE! Moans... " his back had been fused.
I lay there.
All could be worse right?!
Ugh. It always has to be said. It's interesting how when we see or hear others with more of a misfortune we suddenly appreciate our own experience.
Gratitude comes into our mind and heart ...or at least near by...pain kicks in again and I scream F*$K!!! Why the F8$K do I have to be in my 30s with a fused metal leg?!?!? I didn't do anything wrong! I was following the damn rules and some asshole wasn't and got away with it and now for the rest of my life I will struggle and be reminded?!?!?
c'est la vie
new front plate, fusion (talus/tibia), 1 rod (fibula), 13 screws